Hoping For Hope
by StrawberryLady81
Summary: Hope, Everything, Romance, Hurt, Tears. Erza Scarlet, made of each. Hoping she had a future. Wanting everything. Falling in love. And drowning in tears. But when the orphanage finds her crying after her parent's murder, send her to a new location; Magnolia, she meets new people. Sparks of love fly, and more sadness surface. What else would happen?
1. Chapter 1: Dying Hope

**_A/N:_**** I'm new to this fanfiction world so treat me well! xD** ****Fairy Tail Fanfic (no magic or maggiggggy) ****

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters displayed below. Also, if the plot of this story is similar to your's, i didnt copy!**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Dying Hope**

_Everything had been the word I loved to use_

_The word I thought that meant nothing_

_But in the end, if anyone said "I want EVERYTHING"_

_I would turn away from them_

_Hating the word_

_Even though I had used it all through out my life_

_Until that fateful day_

_When I encountered my despicable fate_

_I noticed_

_That_

_It would be impossible_

_To obtain everything_

* * *

"Mamaa, I want everything!" I still remember myself telling my mother that. Oh how she had looked at me in pain, the pain that she thought I would never have to know. "Erza, someday you may really achieve your wish, but never be too ambitious." My mother said, her red hair in a bun, her blue eyes looking at my despairingly.

That was the moment when all hell broke loose in our town. Bandits. Men and women clothed in black rushed into our small but cozy cottage, broke down the wooden door I had always loved to knock. Crashed through all the windows I was told to wipe each day, grabbed an axe. An axe for what? I had been so young then, my scarlet hair short, but I knew what I saw. My dad, I dont remember much of him but I remember his black hair, streaked with white, and crinkled face with brown eyes, so warm, but so distant all the time. He had told me something, I dont quite remember.

A specific bandit, obviously quite muscular, had grabbed the axe. He had scanned the room, found me and started sauntering towards my direction. I, clueless of what was happening, had been hidden in a wooden cabinet inside the kitchen area. My parents were no where to be seen. But I had heard a familiar voice screaming, "My daughter isn't anything valuable! Leave us alone!" It was raspy, like an old voice, but soft, and angry. So angry I could feel it. But I still had the bandit I needed to worry about. He was getting closer. I could see his blue eyes shining with joy? Not joy, perhaps hatred and feeling relieved that he could take revenge?

I was usually good at reading people, but this face was confusing.

"Erza!" A sweet voice piped from outside a window above my cabinet. It was clear as day, Kagura had yelled.

Whimpering slightly, I ripped my gaze off of the bandit, who was getting closer alarmingly, and at the space above me where the sound had come from. I proceeded to scanning my surroundings, in search of a weapon of some sort. There was something shiny to the left of me. I poked it cautiously, unaware of the heavy breathing coming from in front of me. The bandit had found me. Sudden light exploded my vision. Unsure of what to grab, I grabbed the object I had found earlier and shoved it directly in front of me. With a great big manly gasp, the raider collapsed, red liquid splattered the front of my white tank top and denim shorts.

* * *

I cant believe it. I killed a human being.

I, Erza Scarlet killed.

From above, I head Kagura squeak in pain.

And then, I heard my mother's scream, then direct silence and a deep wail.

What should I do?

"Mama! Papa!" I wailed, completely ignoring Kagura, I had deeper concerns.

* * *

A tiny redhead six year old, other people may see me, but truly, I was much more harmful than that.

I had gone through much more than they think I did.

I saw my parents getting killed.

I killed a bandit.

I caused my best friend to get injured.

I became a horrible person.

Hope disappeared from my mind.

Never crossing my mind until someone found Kagura and I.

Separating us.

And, I was sent to an orphanage.

While Kagura's parents were found, healthy and unhurt.

* * *

**And that's the first chapter, kinda short ehehe. Erza's childhood. Changed a little from the original version.**


	2. Chapter 2: Floating Hope

**New chapter! This is quite random, but all my chapter's titles will be a verb (hopefully) and the 'Hope'**

**Couples included in story from now on: NaLu, GrayLu, Nerza, GrayZa and many more minor ones!**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Floating Hope**

_My world ended in that little space of time_

_I lost everything that had ever been mine_

_I saw everything leave me_

_Everything important to me left_

_Disappeared, dissolved, into nothing_

_My life itself, hid itself in the shadows_

_My voice itself, shut itself up, deciding not to talk_

_My eyes were damp, tears drowning me_

_My body, shivering and shaking, recalling memories_

_Was that all my life was going to be from now on?_

_Or was a stripe of light going to guide me away from my _

_tragic_

_past._

* * *

"Erza-chan, we're moving you okay? To Magnolia, where one of your mother's friends live." The nurse who was taking care of me spoke softly, her voice wavering when she reached the word 'mother'. My body shook slightly, hearing her words, reluctant to leave Rosemary Village where Kagura was. But apparently the nurse took the shiver I gave as an answer. She smiled at me. Her brown hair covering some of her face, I didn't bother remembering her name, but she always told me it, "Momo"

I shot her a lazy glare, she obviously somehow took it as a smile and her grin widened.

"Momo. Can I.. talk to my friend before I leave?" I spoke quietly, barely a whisper.

The brunette looked at me, by looking at her surprised expression, I could tell she was thinking how someone could even be friends with someone as crazy and depressing as I was.

But despite her thoughts, she nodded slightly and helped me pick out casual clothes and opened the door to exit the Orphanage for me.

I sulked through the streets of Rosemary, it had been two years since the incident, I was seven now, I liked to consider myself mature for my age, but apparently village folk still saw me as the cute innocent Erza they knew two years ago.

As I looked around and spotted a young child with long dark violet hair.

"Kagura.." I called quietly, rushing towards her, swiftly dodging clods of people.

My only friend, my childhood friend, looked at me. A smile immediately broke onto her face.

"Erza!" Kagura was smiling so brightly, I thought I could smile like that too now.

I made a pathetic attempt to place a smile onto my usual depressing face.

"Erza, why do you have that pained look on your face?" She questioned me, obviously seeing me as being painful, when I was attempting to smile.

"Eh-Eh! I was trying to smile!" I announced, looking at her, surprised that she hadn't seen that as a smile.

And soon, the two of us burst out laughing, me with a natural smile finally replacing my frown, and Kagura, happy and laughing with me while studying my smile.

"Kagura.. I'm moving away.." I finally said as my laughter subsided and my usual bleak behavior surfaced.

"Hah?!" My friend looked at me, her eyes watering.

"To Magnolia.. To my mother's friend's place." My voice hardened when I reached the word 'mother'.

Kagura looked at me in a doleful way, "I'll miss you, you know. But from what I heard in school, Magnolia is a wonderful place in Spring, I bet you'll make really good friends!" The purplenette paused momentarily and continued, when she noticed my cheek was streaked with a warm liquid. "Just promise me that you'll never forget me, not even when you and I are a hundred years old!"

I blinked at her, allowing more tears to fall. "I promise!" I stated, knowing how important this was.

* * *

Today was the day I was finally leaving the uninviting orphanage that had helped me overcome some memories. Momo, the nurse, helped me pack up my scarce amount of belongings into a leather suitcase they had found in my former home which now belonged to another happy family. I sighed doubtfully, everyone was telling me how fortunate it was for me to be "adopted" by a family friend into a nice rich city.

I seriously didn't think that this adoption would work.

But Momo smiled at me in an envious way and led me to the exit of the bleak orphanage.

"I'll miss you, okay? You're a big inspiration to me, Erza." She said my name so softly, it reminded the way my mother spoke.

Hot tears spilled down my rosy red cheeks.

"I'll miss you too, Momo."

A silver and sleek car appeared on the driveway. I glanced at it and blinked, surprised. So my mother's friend was rich.

A kind looking lady with dark-blue hair shut the driver's seat's door and ran up to me. She was wearing a neat black business suit, but instead of the kind men wear, she wore a tight skirt at the bottom. She looked kind of familiar. Maybe my mother had told me about her?

"Erza!" the lady cried out happily.

"Hello." I said quietly, I didn't know her name so I couldn't really call her anything.

"I'm Amaya, or Ama! You've grown so much!" Ama picked me off my feet and hugged me tightly, showing lots of affection.

I had missed this feeling. I may have even forgotten it since I haven't felt this much love since my parent's had left. A small grin crept onto my face as I breathed in her sweet perfume that smelled of cherry blossoms.

As Ama put me down once more and picked up my leather suitcase, she studied me carefully and informed me, "I have a son who's about your age, Erza. I bet you two will become great friends!"

I looked at her in a I-doubt-it kind of way and sighed.

* * *

Somehow, I ended up falling asleep in the backseat of the car, suffocating with the sweet minty smell that filled the seats.

Maybe, I had hope in my life.

* * *

"Gray! Come down to meet Erza!" Amaya called into their house as I dragged my suitcase along with me.

"No!" A shrill voice shrieked from above.

"Gray!" A deeper and huskier voice called from beyond the door to the house.

"Fine!" The shrill voice muttered angrily.

Pretty soon, I could hear stomping and "Ugh"s coming from the house.

In a matter of seconds, the door creaked open, and from the crack of space, a face appeared.

Ama beckoned the child out, I was trying to hold in my laughter, I saw who was the shrill voice now. A half-naked boy with a mop of navy-blue hair and deep dark eyes.

"Hello." I said wavering a little, seeing that this scene was so familiar to me. It happened all the time in my family, where my mother would call me down to greet guests. I put on a brave smile and swept my long scarlet hair away from my face and behind my ear as I studied the boy who was standing in front of me right now. He had okay looks but his eyes seemed droopy. And it was quite obvious that he had a habit of stripping.

Gray looked back at me, "Your hair is red." was the first thing he said.

I touched my crimson-colored bangs and looked back at him, "Yeah."

Immediately, Amaya started ushering the two of us inside and told me I should see my room. With a genuine smile on my face, I followed this kind lady up the stairs of the Fullbuster household and into a room with white wallpaper, a bed made of mahogany and covered by a pink polka-dot cover, a mahogany desk, a mahogany bookshelf already filled with novels, and a mahogany closet. Everything was made of mahogany.

"Erza, I heard from Fuyuki, your mother, that you liked art, so you can design your own wallpaper! You can paint anything onto these walls." Amaya said to me, smiling brightly.

"Thank you." I thanked her, appreciating the effort this family had put onto me to make me feel welcomed. Amaya left the room after a while of being in silence and left me to unpack my belongings.

* * *

An hour later, I was sitting in the dining room, eating dinner. Steak, mashed-potatoes, peas and carrots. To me, that was luxury because I came from a small town, where chicken was the main meat we ate.

"Thanks to you Erza, I can have steak for once." The stripper said to me, Gray was sitting next to me and munching joyously on a piece of meat he had cut out.

I nodded at him in an act of kindness and continued focusing on spooning mashed-potatoes into my mouth. This food was delicious. I think, I finally have some hope for the future.

* * *

Nighttime was the worse. I always rolled around, unable to sleep. Because the incident had occurred at night, two years ago. I still remember shrill screams, but it had gotten better over the years, I had Momo to keep me company back in the the orphanage. But now, I was alone in my bed, tossing around. I could hear the Fullbuster couple already snoring and breathing heavily but slowly in the master bedroom. I didn't hear any movement from Gray's room though. I wonder if he was asleep or not. An embarrassing thought crossed my mind, would it be okay if I asked him to stay with me for the night?

Wouldn't that be awkward? Or were we basically adoptive siblings? I hoped it would be okay. So, I got out bed, slipped on my bunny slippers and shuffled across the hall to a "forbidden territory" named Gray's Room.

"Gray?" I whispered, my voice barely audible. But somehow, he heard.

"Erza?!" He hissed back, surprised.

"I.. I cant sleep."

"Don't come to my room then!" His voice stayed the same level, but sounded rougher, like he was angry.

"But.. I'm getting nightmares." I whimpered quietly, my voice shaking.

"Erza.. Okay, fine. But just tonight. And it stays between us." Gray's voice had gotten softer in a kind way, it made me feel more.. calm.

The blue-haired boy turned on his lamp by his bed which led me to his bed. I had brought my pillow with me, just in case he had agreed, and he did. I clambered onto his bed hesitantly and covered myself with the blanket that smelled of him, the boy who was lying next to me. I covered my nose with the blanket and breathed in, instantly, a nice minty aroma filled my nostrils. It smelled good.

Somehow, I had fallen asleep, curled up, and facing Gray.

* * *

In the morning, Amaya and her husband; Derek, had found the two of us, curled up against each other, in deep sleep.

It had been the best sleep I'd ever had since that night, two years ago.

* * *

**Long chapter! Yes! GrayZa is my ultimate OTP! ~ 3**

**Wait for the update /le speaking to air**


	3. Chapter 3: Glimpsing Hope

**I finally edited a cover for my fanfic and updated it! xDD I realized I'm such a fast writer, but that's good right?**

**I love you guys ~**

** xx**

**- Strawberry**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Glimpsing Hope ; 3rd Grade**

_You told me it wouldn't happen again_

_but it did_

_over and over again_

_But you didn't care_

_You just let it be_

_So I followed you, into the depths of Hell_

_I told you_

_I would follow you_

_Anywhere_

_and_

_Everywhere._

* * *

After that night, there were several times where I would slip into Gray's room and sleep in his bed. I loved this aroma it sent off, the fresh minty scent. I realized I was slowly growing up. And that things wouldn't be as simple as they were.

I had just turned eight. And Amaya and Derek decided to send me off to school, with Gray. At first, I stuck to him the whole time, but soon realized that no other girls would follow boys around. Each day would be the same routine.

Waking up, "Grayy!" I call, signaling him to come downstairs for breakfast

"Gray! Amaya, Derek, we're leaving!" Me calling for him to leave

After arriving at school, we would go to our classes together, and during recess, I would be his little scarlet tail, following him everywhere.

I can tell he was annoyed, but he was the one I leave the house with, he was the one I went home with. He was the one I trusted the most.

I can't decide whether I should make friends or not. But one day, a blonde nerd girl came up to me, her face in a huge wide smile.

"I'm Lucy Heartfilia! Let's be friends!" She had said, her pleading brown eyes sparkling.

"Um.. Sure." I mumbled hesitantly, she didn't seem like a bad person, she reminded me a little of Kagura though, so I decided to become friends with her.

Now, I leave home with the stripper, hang around with Lucy, Cana, Levy, and Bisca. And head home with Gray. It really made me happy, knowing I had all these people to trust now.

But one day, I could hear these 'ouch's echoing from the hall. The groan sounded so familiar. And then a growl. It sounded quite a lot like Gray when we were arguing. But this growl sounded violent. Gray had never been violent.. Or had he?

"You little bastard!" I could hear an unfamiliar voice screech at Gray as I tip-toed along the hallway towards the noise.

Then, there was a shattering sound, it sounded like a punch. Oh no, perhaps Gray had gotten into a fight!

I started running, not watching my footing, and absolutely not caring about how much noise I was making, as I carelessly skid around the corner of the hall, I could see a pink-haired boy punching Gray. By what I could see, Gray didn't seem so hurt, but I was worried.

"Stop!" I yelled, running forward and standing between the two. They didn't seem to be impacted by my interference, the pink head just glared at me menacingly.

"You red haired bastard, move!" The unfamiliar boy screeched at me, and punched me on the arm, it didn't hurt, but it looked like he was using all his strength.

"You.." I was getting angry now, I could feel the blood rushing up and I bonked his head with my fist, my other hand grabbing Gray's shirt's collar, and dragged him away. The dark haired boy was looking at me in astonishment as the pink haired one was staring open mouthed at me.

* * *

In a few hours, Gray and I were walking home, it felt like a graveyard where ever we went, everything was deathly silence. I guess Gray had felt ashamed that he had gotten saved by a girl.

**"**Gray, are you okay?" I asked him quietly, returning to my usual quiet self.

He finally ripped his gaze off the concrete road and looked at me, "No."

"Why?"

"Because I was getting beaten up by that bastard; Natsu." He muttered darkly

Natsu, so that was his name.

**( A/N: Sorry for slow progress, I'm focusing on Erza's childhood a lot..)**

We arrived home in a few minutes, Gray's swelling cheek was getting inspected by Ama as she fussed and scolded him on and on about not getting into fights.

I was laying belly-down on my bed, reading a fantasy novel, about these Mages finishing quests. Surprisingly, the setting was also in Magnolia. It was quite interesting. I decided that I loved these books now.

Then my thoughts immediately wrenched themselves into today's event. Natsu, that boy, he was quite interesting. I recall seeing him in a few of Gray's soccer games at lunch. He seemed like a fiery guy who had a bad temper.

* * *

In a few days time, I grew closer to Natsu. I had realized that he was stalking me in a peculiar way. Like, hiding behind shoe lockers while trying to get a glimpse of my red hair. It concerned me a little, perhaps he was waiting to see if he could pick a fight with me. So one day, I waited at the lockers, seeing if I could catch sight of his pink hair. Just as I thought, his scruffy pink hair popped into my view, swaying about, as if he was looking for someone. Of course, I forgot, he would be looking for me. Taking a great deep breath, I stood in front of him and crossed my arms.

"What are you doing, following me around." I scolded, still using a quiet voice.

Natsu looked at me in surprise, "I.. I.." He stammered, after some silence, he ran off, the pitter-pattering of his feet echoing down the hall.

A few days later, I managed to start a conversation. A normal one, and immediately, I had put a grin onto his face, I noticed that Natsu had dimples, which was kinda cute.

So, after a while, I learnt that Natsu was an orphan, and a man named Igneel adopted him. I found that quite alike to my story, though Natsu never knew who his parents were. So I told him about my past, it was nice, pouring my feelings out to another person.

We became great friends in a matter of days, from enemies to friends. It's amazing how being stubborn can help change your life a little.

* * *

Soon, in a flash, in a blink of time, I was ten years old. Everything felt different. I was in 5th grade. It felt like everything changed. Now Natsu and Gray barely talk to me. And they were so obsessed with soccer that they join clubs and everything. Now, everything was so different. Lucy would start telling me how cute Natsu was, and how lucky I was his friend. Apparently, that's what she calls a "crush". I didn't quite understand.

So I'd ask her, "What does it feel like to have a crush?"

"A crush hmm. Whenever I see my crush, my heart beats so fast I'm afraid he can hear it." the blonde told me.

I could tell she was thinking really hard, because her neat eyebrows were screwed together. I looked at her oddly, and thought a bit about what she had just told me. I don't think I matured that much yet, or maybe because I'm too mature? I wonder if I feel that way towards anyone. I wonder if I'll ever blush when I see a particular boy walk by.

* * *

Now at home, Amaya and Derek gives me heaps of private space. Meanwhile Gray seems to ignore me completely. But it's still really nice to see him everyday, though we rarely speak to each other. It made me upset, but I guess it can't be helped, everyone must move on from their past someday. I must move on soon too, or I'd be the only one stuck in the past, struggling.

Saturday, the great freedom day for me. The only day where I have time to run around the neighborhood with friends.

After I grabbed a waffle for breakfast, I headed out the door and immediately spotted Lucy, her hair shining golden in the sunlight.

"Erza ~ !" She called, waving wildly.

A grin was planted onto my face as I jogged over to her.

"Wanna go to the supermarket?" Lucy asked me, her arm swayed at her side as I stood in front of her.

Nodding eagerly, I smiled. Soon, we were just walking and making small talk as we continued a trek around our neighborhood towards the nearest supermarket.

As I walked around a corner of the street, I bumped into something, or rather, someone. Looking up, I spotted dark brown eyes and a mop of black hair. I recognized this person from school. He was the new kid that I saw swimming a few days earlier. Rei McGarden, Levy's cousin. They looked nothing alike, and were nothing alike. Levy the bookworm, and Rei the swimmer. Also, Rei was fully Japanese.

"Ah.. Sorry!" I exclaimed, jumping back. I wasn't really good with these awkward moments.

Rei looked at me dumbstruck, "It's a-alright, Erza." His cheeks were red as he ran off. I wonder why, and how did he know my name? And it occurred to me that his shoe locker was the one next to me, even though our last names were not close to each other.

When I returned back to Lucy, she was looking at me, shocked.

"How do you know him?" She asked, as we continued walking.

"I don't know? His locker is next to mine?" I replied hesitantly.

"Rei's like, the silentest person ever." She continued, a smile creeping onto her face.

"And Erza, is there anything between you and Natsu or Gray?"

"W-What?! I'm an adoptive sister to Gray and Natsu's just a friend!" I blabbed, feeling heat rising to my cheeks.

"Is there really nothing between you guys? I mean, your face is bright red, just like your hair." Lucy smirked, and pulled me faster as we got closer to the store.

Ah, nice, heaven, was all I could think of as I was dragged inside the air-conditioned shop. Lucy's hand was still on my arm, pulling me around the aisles until we reached the freezer where all the drinks were put. Lucy grabbed a Gatorade and paid for it and immediately dragged me outside again, into the immense heat.


	4. Chapter 4: Seizing Hope

**Hahaha ~ Slight cliff hanger last chapter! Sorry my chapters are all so short. I doubt any one reads my story, ahaha. **

**I'm moving on into middle school now, Erza will develop more feelings, mhmm ~**

**Some of these characters are OOC like Erza and Gray**

**I got a few reviews, I'm so happy xD i'll update soon for those who are reading my fanfic ~~**

**- Strawberry**

* * *

_I dont know anymore._

_How am I supposed to act._

_What am I supposed to say._

_What should I do._

_I dont know a thing anymore._

_So unlike when I was young._

_Romance is meaningless_

_Or is it?_

_Perhaps_

_I'm_

_Growing_

_Up._

* * *

Fifth grade was a blur for me. People started getting more crazy. Hair smoother. Skin darker. Eyes prettier. More muscular. Skinnier. Everyone was changing. Now, transitioning into sixth grade was something huge for all of us. Standing on stage, I was carrying a "diploma" elementary school had handed us. I had smiled for the camera with the principal and walked off the stage with a straight face. I wondered why this was such a big deal. Sure, it's great to "graduate" but, wasn't middle school full of heart break?

Now, it was in summer break. I spent most of my time outside, but some days, I would just stay at home, hoping Gray would talk to me.

And he did, just barely.

"Have you seen my toothbrush?" He called into my room once, early in the morning. I was sitting at my desk, writing on Wattpad, a great website for novels, and when his deep voice reached my ear, I jumped, literally.

And replied with my voice wavering, "No.. But Amaya might've."

Once he had heard my reply, he walked off, trying to find his mother. I could hear his heavy footsteps, so familiar, but freaky in a way. So I continued to publish stories on Wattpad. Wattpad was a great escape for me, I could seek a great perhaps, like in Looking For Alaska. Or I could make true love in fictions stories, when none of that was possible for me in real life. I had even made a few friends, now, Lucy was boy-crazed and I didn't understand most of her world.

Each morning, I would slide my iPhone out from under my pillow and check if I had received any notifications from Wattpad. Each morning, I would find a few comments, saying that my stories were great. But eventually, I would just forget to update for a few days, and I wouldn't get any notifications.

Sunday morning, Ama yelled from downstairs, "Erzaa, get some groceries please? The list is down here!"

"Ahh! Coming!" I called back, grabbing a small black rucksack bag which usually carried my belongings, and slung it over one of my shoulders. Grabbing my phone and slipping it in my pocket, I rushed downstairs, grabbed the grocery list from the kitchen counter, slipped on a pair of converse, and ran outside the door.

The heat was intense, but it felt good to sweat, if you know what I mean.

Jogging to the side of the house, I came upon the bike shed. I kicked the stand up, and pulled my bike out. Normally, girls would have that type of bike that had baskets right? But I liked speed, so I had asked Amaya if I could get a racing bike, of course, she said yes. So now I got scolded constantly by Lucy for not being as girly as I was "supposed" to be.

Pushing the multicolored bike out, I hopped on and started pedaling towards a market that had just opened near by. In a few minutes, I could already see the 1 floor building that had colorful banners everywhere, announcing their new opening. I parked my bike in the shade of a tree and locked it, who knew what would happen if I just left it there.

Entering the store, I looked around, wondering if there was anyone I knew here. Nevermind. I took out the list and scanned it, brown bread (Amaya was healthy), green peppers, marshmallows (probably requested by Gray), cheddar cheese and strawberries. The fruit aisle was the closest to me, I trudged there, and looked around for the small, red fruits. Immediately, I found them, glowing at the end of the aisle. As I hustled towards them, something swept by me and fell with a plunk on the floor.

I looked down curiously, and found a brown leather wallet. Bending down, I picked it up cautiously and flipped it open, checking if there was an ID inside. Sure enough, there was a student ID card that read "Rei McGarden". Oh god, why do I always run into the mysterious swimmer boy. Since we'd be in the same grade next year, I decided that i would just give it to him later on. I slipped the wallet into my bag and continued the shopping. Grabbing a few ripe strawberries, I carried on and looked around the store for the other items on the list.

* * *

In a flash, summer holiday had ended, now, it was officially sixth grade.

Unsure of what to do, I looked around for my homebase, room 105, Mr. Lewis.

Immediately spotting it, I dragged myself in, a black messenger bag slung over my shoulder. I looked around, expecting familiar faces, but I received none, just Rei, Cana and a few others. No Lucy, no Gray, no Natsu. Wonderful, another tragic year without Gray around.

I remembered I still had to return the wallet to Rei, so I walked over to him, took the leather wallet out of my bag and handed it to him with a note on it.

In my neat handwriting, I had scrawled in: "You dropped this in the grocery store"

Rei looked at me, his hair had gotten longer, trailing a little over his right eye. Nodding his thanks, he slipped his wallet into his pocket. I looked around, and spotted my name tag on the table opposite of Rei's. Smiling slightly, I walked away and sat down, waiting for Mr. Lewis to come over and hand me my locker combination. I hoped it was a top locker, I had heard that bottom lockers were terrible and the people who owned them usually would get binders and books dropped on them.

* * *

Already, it was Autumn, and Gray had started talking a bit more now. Just barely, but he cracked smiles in front of his friends, but not much at home. I try talking to him constantly, but he either just murmurs something inaudible or makes movements with his head. Finally, I would give up on talking to him and leave. I wish he would just talk to me.

Each morning, I wrap a scarf around my neck and bike to school. Lucy and I meet up a few blocks away from school, grab a hot cup of coffee and go to school together, even though it's a short amount of time, I still appreciate it, I barely talk to anyone, but I know I can share my feelings with Lucy.

But, Lucy likes to talk about Natsu a lot now. About how his eyes are amazingly full of life. And she would still question me about Rei, Natsu, and Gray.

Speaking of Rei, we talk a little now, on Skype and on other things. And Wattpad? Oh, I temporarily stopped using Wattpad, though I still update some novels now and then.

I love Autumn a lot, because you can dress in cozy clothing and just.. be comfy.

* * *

Mr. Lewis announced the following day that on September 15th, it will be our first school dance of the year. No one should miss it, because it will be very fun. The exact words he used. So, I decided I would go.

And as I waited for Lucy at her locker at the end of the day, she was squealing with excitement. "The first _dance_, Erza! The _dance_!"

"Yeah, yeah the dance." I muttered back, rolling my eyes.

"I really wish Natsu could ask me." She whispered to me, pushing her blonde hair back behind her ear.

I smiled at her, "I hope so!"

* * *

September 15th. I don't know what I expected, really. But, this was way to crazy. I had stayed after school with Lucy, Gray, and Natsu. We had hung around, played a little basketball and just talked.

Finally, 5:30 PM clicked onto my watch.

"It's time to get to the gym. For the dance." I informed them with a clear voice, smiling widely.

"See you, Lucy, Erza." Gray said, walking away with the basketball in his hand and Natsu by his side.

"Let's go." Lucy said, dragging me along.

I couldn't help but notice that Gray had said Lucy's name before mine. It hurt me in a way I didn't think it could.

* * *

On the dance floor, music blaring, people screaming, people dancing. That was all I could think of. I was on the main stage in the middle of the gym, dancing around with Lucy, i was beaming so brightly, I was afraid I could light up the dark room that was flashing with the colors of a disco ball.

But then, a slow song plays. The song; Fix You by Coldplay.

I loved it, but I slowly crept off the stage and looked around. The students in seventh grade and eighth grade had already gotten into their couples and were slow dancing. I looked around for Lucy, and found her blonde hair, next to a cloud of dark hair? That dark haired person was.. Gray?!

I stood in shock, staring at the two, hands on shoulders, hands on hips.

A tap jolted me out of my stance. I turned back and saw Natsu, looking at me.

"I knew he liked her, I'm sorry I didn't tell you." He told me quietly

I glanced at the pair dancing once more and turned back to Natsu, "Dance?" I asked him, my voice shaking quite a bit.

Natsu smiled at me shyly, and soon we were swaying to the beat of the song.

* * *

Quite soon, I was back home, shut in my room, staring at my phone screen, reading the texts Lucy had sent me.

"Forgive me for not telling you."

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry."

"Erza reply!"

and the next was from Gray.

"Erza, why's your door locked?!"

and then Natsu.

"Erza, everyone's worried!"

A wet warmness streaked down my cheek. A single tear that meant nothing, but everything at the same time.

* * *

**Hurr~ **

**The school dance part was based on my life whee.**

**Okeii. **

**Who should be with Erza later on? Because i cant decide between Rei, Natsu, and Gray! o **


	5. Chapter 5: Deprived of Hope

**So. I'm still kinda unsure who to pair Erza with. ahh! **

**=v= Erza is a hard character.**

**From now on I'm posting POVs! and i'm stopping with the short poem things**

**- Strawberry**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Deprived of Hope**

I had locked myself in my room for a while, starving. But every hour my phone would at least ring twice, signaling a new text message. Most likely from Lucy or someone. I didn't care anymore. Until I finally mustered up the courage to take a peek. The most recent one was: "Erza, I'm so sorry! I feel so guilty, please forgive Gray and I! Natsu's worried about you too!"

The next one was from Gray: "What the hell are you doing, Erza! Amaya and Derek will be back from their business trip in two days! You better come out! Please come out!"

And then Natsu: "Erza! We're all so worried, please forgive us all from keeping secrets, I never knew you had such strong feelings for Gray"

So I decided to text Natsu back, it was probably the only message I could properly reply to,

Thumbs in motion, I clicked back: "You never know how strong your feelings are for someone until you see someone else in their arms."

After that, I threw my phone onto my bed and hid into a corner of my room, hugging the brown furry teddy bear Gray had once given to me for Christmas.

Fresh new tears were splattering down my cheeks, this time icy cold against my feverish cheeks, I tasted saltiness on my chapped lips. I sniffled loudly and sobbed.

* * *

**Gray's POV**

What the hell was wrong with my life. Why could I never do anything right.

All I could think about was that Erza is probably starving in there. And it worried me.

Mom would be so mad at me, and Erza would probably never talk to me again. She'd probably move out to the school dorms; Fairy Hills.

Ugh, what was I thinking?! I needed to get her out of there before school starts. Impossible. No, everything's possible if you have hope.

I crept towards my adoptive sister's room and knocked on her door, "Erza!" I hissed.

The sun was setting outside the window that was behind me, casting a orange glow onto me.

A raspy mumble replied. I couldn't quite understand, but it sounded like: get out.

I leaned against the door, "I'm sorry."

Miraculously, the door creaked open

** ( A/N: ahaha, SAO )**

A red eyed Erza glared at me, the teddy bear I had given to her pushed against her chest.

She was dressed in her pajamas, tank top and plaid pajama bottoms.

"What do you want." She hissed, her voice dry.

"To apologize." I replied, looking at her in the most apologetic way I could.

I expected her to break down and cry, but that didn't happen, she just glared at me with devilish eyes and walked away.

* * *

**Erza's**** POV**

I ran downstairs, grabbed my mug that had swords and anchors printed over it and filled it with a cup of hot coffee and walked up the stairs again.

I did not expect Gray to be waiting for me.

He was staring at me intently, as his icy eyes met my burning ones, he reached his hand out and touched my forehead. "You have a fever." Gray said in a low voice.

I blushed greatly and turned away, pushing his hand away, "No I don't." I said stubbornly and took a sip out of my coffee and walked into my room.

Just as I was about to shut the door, Gray grabbed my arm and forced me to be unable to move.

"Why did you cry on that night?" He asked me, his eyes burning with ferocity and he seemed to want to know so badly. I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't.

"None of your business." I hissed, scowling.

I was so close to telling him.

I needed to tell him. But I didn't want to.

I wanted to tell him that

_I had never seen him as my brother._

**_But as a crush._**

Finally, I pulled away from his grip and slammed the door in his face.

I took a few more swigs of my coffee and grabbed my phone.

Unlocking it, I scrolled around my contacts and found Rei's number. When did I get it? Not so sure, but I felt like I could talk to him, since we had become great friends.

So I texted him: "Can we meet up in the park? I kinda need to talk."

In a few seconds, he texted back, alerting my phone with a _diiing_.

"Sure. Be there in 5 =3= " that was what he replied. I guess Rei was quite cute on the inside, he just doesn't show it.

* * *

2 Minutes later, I had freshened up and put on some actual street clothes I could be seen with. Grabbing my phone, I slipped it into the pocket of my bleached and ripped skinny jeans.

1 minute later, I arrived in the park and parked my bike in a bike shed. As I hung around and watched little children run around, I waited for Rei.

1 minute after meeting time.

2 minutes after meeting time.

10 minutes after meeting time. A figure finally appeared in front of me.

"Rei!" I called, a miniature smile replacing the usual depressed expression on my face.

"I'm sorry, I'm Rei's twin brother." I learned from Rei that he was adopted into the McGarden family, but I never knew he had a twin brother.

"My brother was in a car crash, so he can't meet up with you today, sorry." Rei's twin told me, his eyes tainted red.

I was in shock. Why did all the bad things happen to me.

* * *

**Rei's POV**

≈ BEFORE ACCIDENT ≈

My phone had beeped. I snapped it open and checked the screen. A text from Erza, the first one I've received after the dance. I was relieved after I saw that she wanted to talk, that meant she was all well.

"I'm going out!" I called to Ryu, my brother.

≈ FEW MINUTES LATER ≈

I didn't have a bike, so I had no choice but to walk to the park. Trudging along the sidewalk, I decided that I needed to cross the road. So with my hands in my pockets, I slowly crossed the road.

Did Erza need to talk to me about her feelings for Gray? Or did she realize something I had always hoped for her to realize.

I stopped in the middle of the road to fanboy about what had just crossed my mind.

Suddenly a horn beeped. The screeching of tires filled my ears. And a splattering scream came out of my mouth as a huge truck hit me.

≈ AFTER INCIDENT ≈

Monitors beeping. I felt pain burning me everywhere. The room I was in was empty, but all I could think of was that Erza would feel awful that I didn't come.

* * *

**Erza's POV**

After I head about Rei's accident, I had told Ryu, his brother, to take me to the hospital Rei was in.

"I can't. Currently it's family members only." He shook his head and walked away, turning to look back at me apologetically.

And with that, winter transitioned into spring. The scarves disappeared, and Rei had healed.

Now it was shorts and light stuff.

I hated bees. But everyday I'd have to bike past a cloud of them because there was a bed of flowers close to the school.

When I arrived at school, the first thing Rei had said was that he was sorry.

Now, I sit on a sofa, listening to my homebase teacher talk about school rules and how people were wearing too "revealing" clothes. I sighed, remembering how Lucy had been called to the office for wearing a skirt.

I exchange looks with Rei and he rolls his eyes, Mr. Lewis always talks about the school rules. Twice each day, depending on how much we see him.

I have four core with Lucy, which means I see her in every class except for my specials and homebase. Natsu is in all of my specials, and everytime I look at either of them, they shoot me a glance of apologeticness, if that is even a word. I was getting tired of these looks they give me. So I confronted Lucy at lunch, "I'm not sad okay? So don't feel guilty and don't give me that weird look, pass that on to Natsu because it seems like you two are expression twinsies."

Lucy looked upset, "What happened to you, Erza? Why are you so hostile now?"

"People change, memories don't, I'm different now." I told her, looking back down at my lunch and continued wolfing down my curry.

I heard a thud on the table, looking up, I saw Gray's face, inches away from me. I had an urge to look away, but I had to show my friends that I was unaffected. Looking away may seem like I was sad or blushing, so I kept my face up, staring up at him.

As if he could feel the tension, Rei said in a rushed manner, "Gray? What are you doing, standing? Sit."

And so Gray sat down, eyeing me suspiciously.

I ignored him as much as I can and continued eating my lunch.

A few minutes later, everyone was talking while either drinking a slushie or eating a popsicle. I was holding a lemon slushie in my hands, the coldness freezing my hands, making me feel alive once more.

I loved ice, mainly because it reminded me off Gray's icy minty smell. But now, the ice in my hands just made me feel dread, that I had done something wrong again.

* * *

**Lucy's POV**

I hated having to lie to Erza. The moment Gray had asked me for a dance during that slow song, I had tried to find Erza in the crowds, her scarlet hair would be easy to spot. But instead, I couldn't find those crimson locks and decided to accept, because Erza wouldn't see, right? So I accepted him.

And slowly, I became mesmerized despite not wanting Erza to be hurt.

But in that moment, it felt like it didn't matter anymore, I didn't care anymore. It felt too great to let go.

And as I broke away from Gray reluctantly, I could see a scarlet head next to a pink head, dancing, oh my god, was that Erza and Natsu? At the time, I thought Erza never had feelings for Gray. But after I got a text from Gray, saying that she had locked herself in her room, I realized that Erza had only danced with Natsu to be able to not notice Gray, but nothing could change that, she had already seen us.

I had felt so guilty after the dance, I texted her multiple times, tried banging on her door to tell her I never had feelings for Gray, that I loved Natsu, but she wouldn't listen.

So now, Erza had transformed into the cruel and bitter Erza I have not seen for a while.

I missed the old Erza, now she just shot glum looks at me.

Each day, Gray would circle around her, but be shot down mentally after Erza glares at him for a while, Natsu would try, but Erza would ignore him completely. And my case was not better, each day I would try to talk like we used to, and instead get these little waves of hatred that seem to be radiating off her.

The only one who could be close to her was Rei. Rei could cause her to smile, he could make her laugh a little, he could be her friend without getting glared at.

Rei was like her new bestfriend now, I remember when I stood in his position, laughing with her and chatting with her.

Now, the shy swimmer was replacing me. I didn't want that to happen. So, after what she had said to me at lunch, I decided to do something.

The moment I got home, I grabbed my phone and texted her, **"Look, Erza, I've known you since what, Elementary? You stuck with me even when I was a nerd, you stuck with me even when I started fangirling over Natsu. And now you're leaving me when I only danced with your crush out of _pity._"** I cringed, that didn't really sound like me, but I had to be forceful. So I continued, **"Just, I'm always your friend even when you're radiating detestation at me, I still love you for who you are, no homo, I'm sure Gray loves you too. And Natsu. But I'm getting replaced, and it doesn't feel good. Erza, rethink everything you're doing carefully, or you'll be the one who ends up getting hurt." **And with that, I sent the message, hoping I wouldn't get another rant from my fiery-headed friend.

* * *

**Extra long chapter, ooh, they're maturing. So next chapter I'll probably add more excitement and move them up a year. **

**Erza is like me during mood swings but i seriously love her so much. I should probably make these characters less ooc :\**

**Well, bear with me and review! ThankChuuu ~~ xx **


	6. Chapter 6: Discovering Hope

**I'm using my phone to work on this chapter hehe.**

**Not quite used to it, but anything for an update hm?**

**Transitioning into maturer ages soon**

**Kisses,**

**- Strawberry**

* * *

**Erza's POV**

Immediately after I got home from school, my phone beeped, alerting me of a new message. I can guess who it's from; Lucy.

And I was right. So I clicked open the text and read the messages as I nibbled on my right index finger's nail.

Lucy was being really harsh. She danced with Gray out of pity? Who would believe that? She was smiling like she was having the time of her life when she was dancing with Gray. But a little part in me told me to forgive her and accept her apology like a true friend would.

But another part in me told me to send a rant over, full of hatred. I couldn't decide, so I chose not to reply until I made a decision. But suddenly struck me, I was being a terrible friend, and if I didn't fix all my relationships, I would end up with no friends and a bad reputation.

So I sent back a text: **"I never knew you were doing it out of pity. Sorry. I'm moving on like I should! But it's quite obvious that Gray likes you. Now we're stuck in a somewhat love square. :D I forgive you guys, sorry I was being such a jealous bitch."**

And sent! I gritted my teeth, hoping Lucy would understand. I sighed and fell on my back on my bed, my hand clutching my phone tightly. I could hear the door slamming downstairs, signifying that Gray was back from soccer practice.

I made the decision to fix everything. So I gripped my phone even harder, got up, and ran down the stairs, to find.. Ama?

"Ah! Welcome home Ama!" I squealed, surprised.

"Ahaha! Thank you, I'm just home for a while and I'll be leaving. I'll be back really late so you'll be alone with Gray for dinner." My adoptive mother told me.

What?! Home alone with Gray? Will I survive that?!

* * *

After Ama left, I noticed that Gray was probably already home if he didn't come home by now. So I mustered up some courage and knocked on his door. No footsteps came from inside. Not a single noise. I creaked the door open and stuck my head inside to look around. No Gray, but there was a thing with "Diary" written on it.

I scampered over cautiously and picked the book up. It was messy and after I flipped a few pages, I could see he had written about me when I first moved in. My cheeks felt hot when I read the line; "Her hair is crimson. I love that color."

I flipped to a page that was nearing the end, and saw Lucy's name. I quickly read the whole page. Overall summarized, Gray loves Lucy.

"What are you doing in here?" A familiar voice croaked from behind me. I whirled around and saw a sweaty Gray, fuming with anger.

"Crap!" I muttered under my breath. I shoved the diary back onto his desk and scuttled away.

I whammed the door shut and leaned on it, breathing heavily, my heart was beating so fast and it felt like the world was spinning. What?! I didn't know Gray could be so silent. But I made sure of it, Gray has a major crush on Lucy, the beautiful blonde easily stole hearts away, and just like that, she had stolen Gray's unintentionally while crushing on Natsu.

* * *

"Dinner, Erza!" Gray called after a few hours, today we had agreed that he would cook after the awkward moment in his bedroom. I had just finished homework, after stretching for quite some time, I came down the stairs, to find another person?! Natsu was here.

I wanted to tell Gray my feelings today, but just my luck, Natsu the flame brain came for dinner.

Natsu's father wasn't the typical great cook, so he would come to the Fullbuster residence for dinner sometimes, usually, I would be glad he was here to company us, but now, I just found it irritating. But still, I faced them with a smile, just to show that my depressing mood had gone away.

"So, what's for dinner, Gray?" I asked him, pulling out my chair and sitting down at the table.

"Pasta." He mumbled as he walked over with three plates of spaghetti coated with Alfredo sauce and dotted with peas and bacon. Gray knew I hated onions, so he never added onions in his cooking.

Natsu beamed, "Itadakimasu~" (translation: the japanese use this word to say thank you and to say that they are going to begin to eat)

I watched the two guys eat the pasta and started picking at mine, I felt hungry, but I wasn't in the mood to eat.

Finally, hunger won over my gloominess, I dug in happily despite myself and burped with the other's at the end of the meal.

* * *

**Natsu's POV**

I had only come to make sure Erza wouldn't get hurt by Gray again. But Erza kept giving me those death stares which made me think that she would've preferred being with Gray instead of the two of us.

So right after dinner, I said, "I need to go now. Basketball tournament tomorrow."

Erza glanced at me quizzically, "What's the big deal about sport tournaments?"

"You wouldn't understand." Gray replied for me, grinning happily.

I nodded at the two of them and got up from the dining table after wiping my mouth clean of the creamy white sauce and left the cozy house of the Fullbusters. Instead, I trudged towards my old man's house which wasn't nearly as comfortable as the house I just left. Probably because we barely did any cleaning and probably because it was kinda in the middle of nowhere.

But I loved my old man, even though we've been through a lot, he supported me no matter what.

* * *

**Erza's POV**

Natsu finally left. But Gray was heading up the stairs too.

"Gray! Wait!" I blurted out, I could already feel heat rising to my cheeks.

He looked back down at me in confusion. I ran up the stairs, nearly tripping and help onto his arm to make sure he would look at me the whole time I said this.

"I liked you." I declared in a harsh voice that started to waver a little.

I could see a faint blush replacing the usual paleness of his skin, my stomach fluttered as he said something.

"I.. Oh." Gray stuttered. And as simple as that, I let go of his hand and ran up the stairs before he could say anything else.

I felt my cheeks flushing and it felt as if my whole head was burning. I fell face first down onto my bed and groaned because my nose had hit a book that I left on my bed.

I waved my arms around the covers until I found my phone, I unlocked it and saw that Lucy had replied two hours ago.

Her: I'm glad we're good now!

Me: Yea. I just confessed to Gray but said liked instead of like. Ugh.

Her: Omg!

Me: He was blushing!

Her: Skype me

I set down my phone and grabbed my macbook and flipped it open, typed in the complicated password and opened up the application, Skype.

As the bubbly noise indicated that I was logged on, I immediately received a request for a video call from none other than Lucy Heartfilia. Grinning happily I accepted her call.

"Icantbelieveyouactuallydidthat,theactualfuckErzay ouareamazing!" Lucy said in one breathe once we connected.

In the background, I could see her pink room that has always been pink, I turned around and looked at my bare walls that were painted with light blue paint, I had painted it myself because the color reminded me of ice. Just a few days ago, I had started adding flames and water droplets to a small corner of the room. I turned back to Lucy and smiled.

"I guess our normal sibling relationship ended."

"I wouldn't say that." Lucy said reassuringly, showing her infamous smile.

"Protect me in school tomorrow!" I pleaded helplessly.

"Of course."

And with that, she ended the call.

* * *

**Gray's POV**

Erza confessed. I didn't know what to expect when she had grabbed me. But when she said the three simple words clearly, my whole world spun and turned upside down. Right now, I was in my room, dazed. I could hear the computer whirring in the next room, Erza's. I shouldn't let my thoughts stray to her, I had homework to finish.

So I stacked up all my homework, tossed my shirt off and started working on math problems.

* * *

It seemed like just a few weeks, but the last few months of school passed, and here came the last social, the most important one too.

I decided not to ask Lucy despite my feelings and just sit down for some of the slow songs. But when the speakers announced that this would be the last one, I got up and looked around. I saw Lucy, next to my buddy, Natsu. She was smiling so happily, and so was he. They seemed perfect together. So I turned around, and unexpectedly, I saw Erza with Rei.

* * *

**Erza's POV**

Unsurprisingly, Lucy was not asked by Gray, but Natsu. I was just.. standing there, wondering what I should do. And the answer came to me. Rei. He had walked up to me when the intercom declared that this would be the last slow song of the year. I pondered whether I should ask Gray or not, but decided not to despite the urge it gave me.

So Rei had come up to me sheepishly and asked quietly with that low voice of his, "Can we dance?"

That was unexpected, but just so I wouldn't hurt Rei, I accepted him with a quick nod.

Unpredictably, someone pushed me from behind as we were dancing normally, and it turned into a hug dance, the type where the female clung onto the male's neck and they swayed around, barely any distance between.

I was smiling secretively, deep down I was enjoying this, and I thought that I perhaps could move on, and find a new person to like, and actually have a happy life. If that person could be anyone, it would be Rei.

As the song drew to an end, I pulled away from my timid swimmer boy and smiled genuinely, and left to find Lucy, but only to find a Gray who looked shocked and crestfallen.

I stared open-mouthed at him, I hadn't really expected that he would be watching. But I was pretty sure he had no feelings for me, so why was he looking so miserable?

Ignoring the stabbing pain in my chest, I left Gray and hurried around the area, looking for Lucy. Soon my eyes fell on the familiar blondie, she was laughing gleefully besides Natsu. It felt great to see them close. But I had to talk to Lucy. Reluctantly, I prodded Lucy's shoulder, and she looked at me in a dumbfounded way.

I shot her the glance that basically said, 'We need to talk, _now._"

Lucy nodded quickly, whispered a few words to Natsu and got up.

I glanced at her fashionable clothing, a thigh-length skirt, and a pretty top. And glanced down at my tomboyish appearance, some ripped jeans that were kinda short, and a baggy t-shirt with a quote on it.

"I.. I think I like Re-" I started to say but was cut off by Lucy.

"Natsu and I are official!" She exclaimed, blurting out how they had confessed at the same time.

* * *

**Omg Omgg ~~ **

**For all those who think jealous people are cute. soo ~~~~**

**Rei and Erzaaaaa. Mhm.**


	7. Chapter 7: Attaining Hope

**How'd you like the previous chapter? 7th grade now 0: Maybe I should transition faster, but I feel like a longer story is better, because in my life, all the heartbreak is during 6th and 7th grade. 8th grade is just peaceful happiness.**

**I took advice from a reader, thanks TheShipWeirdo!**

**So anyways, enjoy.**

*** H F H ***

**Kisses, -Strawberry**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Blessed with Hope**

**Erza's POV**

Lucy looked at me uncertainly, "Sorry, what were you gonna say?"

I gaped at her. "Natsu, and you? Really?"

My bestfriend giggled, "Yes."

I puffed out some air and laughed.

"I think I love Rei." I stated with a wavering voice, shaken from laughing.

Now it was Lucy's friend to stare at me open-mouthed.

"B-B-But what about Gray!" She stuttered after a moment of silence.

I chuckled, my laugh faltering. "There's no hope."

I recall seeing him dance with Ultear. It was okay, I knew she had always had a crush on him, now they were probably together, a couple that surfaced when the last few weeks of school had come. Perhaps their relationship would survive over the summer, because Ultear is our neighbor. Amaya and Derek told Gray and I that her parents had died when she was young and that she was living on her own, and I guess out of pity, they keep on inviting her over for dinner.

I sighed, with a forced smile on my face, "He and Ultear are lovey-dovey." I pointed over at Ultear's gang, they were all giggling and pushing Ultear and Gray together, meanwhile, I couldn't do a thing, or rather, I didn't feel the need to anymore.

Lucy pouted, "I believe there is still hope. I sense it in my blondness!" She pointed to her hair and winked, laughing loudly.

I laughed with her, half-heartedly, it felt like nothing would go well.

But when Rei passed by suddenly, I caught a whiff of his scent, cinnamon and something sweet. I thought he was going to stop to talk to me, but instead he headed towards his swimming buddies.

Lucy giggled, "Were you just staring at Rei?"

I pretended not to hear clearly, but to be truthful, the music was actually quite loud.

"What?"

Lucy edged closer to my ear and said, "Do you like Rei? ~"

I gaped at her, I could feel my face flushing.

"Omigod, you do!" She squealed.

* * *

**Gray's POV**

I glared at Ultear's friends, I knew they were only being nice and helpful, but the giggling and pushing was getting annoying.

I huffed angrily and walked away, towards where my friends were, Natsu was dribbling a basketball, trying to get it into the hoop when Jellal was guarding.

I quickly joined the pink head's side, catching the ball, dodging Jellal, and scoring.

I cheered, a grin placed on my face as I sauntered over and gave Natsu a high five.

"I heard about Lucy." I chuckled, a slight smirk creeping onto my face.

"_I_ heard about Ultear." He shot back at me, his eyes burning with fury.

"Do you know how much feelings Erza had for you? Do you know how hurt she was?!" Natsu looked daggers at me. I hadn't seen his scowling face for a long time.

"Well. Obviously she doesn't care anymore, because _Rei._" My tone hardened at his name, I didn't quite understand why my stomach felt like it was twisting around, why was I feeling envious when I shouldn't be. **  
**

When Jellal came towards us, Natsu grinned at him like he always had, as if nothing had happened between us.

* * *

**Erza's POV**

I know I'm happy. I should be right? But all I feel is dread while I walk back home with Gray. No words pass between us, everything was silent in the deadly hours of darkness. I kept on shooting sly glances at him, to look at his face, but all I got was expressionless nothing. Like he didn't care at all, but I guess he really didn't. Because he had Ultear.

I should be happy for him, there was nothing between us that should make me feel sad, I should be happy because he's happy, but I dont feel anything that's close to happiness. As I said earlier, all I feel is dread.

We finally reach the Fullbuster residence, it still smelled minty like when I had first seen this house, but now, there was a hint of strawberries, which was caused by me. I loved strawberry cheesecakes, and eventually, I had gotten Lucy to teach me how to bake them. Once a week, I would bake a slice of cake, that was the reason behind the strawberry scent. I don't know why I was thinking that, but it felt good to tear my mind away from the memories of the dance.

As Gray and I separated into our rooms, my phone beeped in my pocket. I actually smiled when I saw that it was a text from Rei.

Him: So we're good now?

Me: Yeah.

Him: Umm. Btw I've liked you for a long time.

Me: I guess I feel the same way.

Him: Okay.

Me: Okay.

My heart was beating, I don't know whether it was from joy, anxiety, or something.

* * *

The rest of 6th grade was awesome. Epic. Desperate. I clung onto every chance I got to talk to Rei on Skype. I didn't want to lose him before summer break arrived. That would be pitiful. Meanwhile, another relationship was getting warmer. Ultear and Gray. Every time Gray had a sports competition, Ultear would be there cheering him on. Of course I would be there too, but he would only smile at Ultear, and his eyes would go blank when they saw me next to Lucy in the stands.

So I gave up on him. Not because I didn't care, but because he didn't. I barely go to his games now, I spent some days watching Rei practice swimming, and then some days I would watch Rei racing.

But soon, the doomed Summer Vacation arrived.

I would wake up late, sleep late. Chatting with Rei on Skype all the way until we both fell asleep. But it didn't feel enough.

Eventually I decided to surprise him on his birthday on July 2nd.

In the morning, I woke up frighteningly early and baked a few chocolate chip cookies and two slices of my signature strawberry cheese cake. After packing these into a box and sticking a nice sparkly ribbon on. I wrote a card. And biked over to Rei's house.

His house was in our neighborhood, but not so close to my house. So it took about five minutes, but every second was worth it when I saw his surprised face.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" I exclaimed, extending my hand that was holding the box of sweets.

Rei took it looking flabbergasted. "I.. Thank you!"

I dragged him outside before he could enter his house again.

"We're having a picnic." I informed. And dragged him to his bike shed, pulled out his bike and parked it next to mine.

"Get on and don't ask where we're going." I ordered.

Rei grinned, his eyes sparkling and hopped on his bike with the box of sweets still in his hand, "Yes, ma'am."

I laughed and started biking away.

* * *

After ten minutes, we reached a little hilly, grassy area that was out of town. It was deserted, not a single house in sight. This was actually kind of close to Rosemary. But I didn't want to think about my hometown. But I just had to wonder how Kagura was doing.

After parking my bike, I sat down on the plush grass and smiled up at Rei.

He sat down next to me, his unnaturally long hair, at least compared to other guys, was just barely flowing in the wind. Meanwhile my crimson-colored hair was basically moving everywhere when the wind blew by.

"The box I just gave you." I told him in a commanding voice, but couldn't help chuckling, I sounded too funny.

Rei obediently gave me the box. I opened it and presented to him the cookies and cake, which was hopelessly crushed. It didn't matter, it still looked edible. At least it wasn't all mashed up.

He laughed, it was a jolly noise, it comforted all the worries in my heart. I loved the sound of his laugh.

"I never knew you baked, Erza!"

My stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies, the beautiful kind, the kind that made you feel good and warm inside.

My stomach also fluttered when he said my name, my name sounded so good when it came out of his mouth.

"Ahahaa." I chuckled slightly, taking a cookie from the box and wafting it under his nose.

"See this? It's a cookie. And you eat it because it's your birthday." I said sarcastically and took his hand and wrapped it around the cookie.

* * *

After we finished the snacks I had made, we just lay on the grass and talked like we always had. But then something unexpected happened.

Rei rolled over to face me, his head propped up by his arm.

"I love you.. I think." He whispered softly, his voice hushed even though there was no one around.

* * *

**Gray's POV **

Erza left early today. She never wakes up that early. Is it possible for that scarlet sleepyhead to wake up so early in the morning? No. I don't think so. But I can predict what she did. As I went downstairs, I could smell the fading scent of strawberries. Mom told me that she had left in a hurry after baking some stuff. I guess it was for Rei.

I still remember when she used to bake _me _cookies. Now she only cared about Rei.

I don't understand. I should be happy for her. But I don't feel happy. I feel terrible. I feel like something was stolen away from me. I don't know what, but I've been robbed emotionally.

I guess I don't care anymore.

I got out my iPhone and created new text message to Ultear.

**Me**: I don't like you.

In a few minutes, the phone finally beeped and I could tell she replied.

Her: What?!

**Me**: Yep.

And that was the end of it. Whoosh, there goes Ultear's contact, deleted from my list. It felt good really, clearing away boredom.

She deserves someone that's not feeling empty, like me. Someone who actually likes her. But.. I felt like I don't need to do anything else, except for watch. I'm an observer. Not someone who's on defense or offense. Just a lone observer, watching, and studying.

* * *

**Wheee! New chapter updated.**

**That was kinda fast. Okay, next chapter is gonna be 8th grade. Lets seee xD**

**Review and Recommend!**

**Until next time!**


	8. Chapter 8: Straying from Hope

**I'm not really sure how to continue. But 8th grade whee. Writer's Block wheee. Kuroko no Basuke /fangirls /writes new fanfic /dies of uncreativeness**

**I have my school dance in a couple of days. Kinda nervous because there's this one person I like who kinda killed me.**

**So. Play this song (i dont have the link, the name is Catch Me by Demi Lovato) when I tell you to later on in the story.**

**Unsure whee.**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Straying from Hope**

Leaving behind seventh grade memories was great. I guess I moved on. But I'm not so sure yet. I still feel the familiar flutter in my chest when I see Gray. But I also feel the same feeling when I see Rei. It's impossible to choose.

But I don't care. There's always a guilty feeling in my chest though. I try my best to ignore it, but it just doesn't go away.

* * *

**DIIINGG** my alarm screeched. I snapped awake, breathing heavily. The ticking was everywhere in my room. But I knew exactly where my clock was. I slammed my fist down, shutting the alarm of and sighed, combing my fingers through my red hair. Ugh. The perfect day. It was rainy, and I had P.E.

I had to walk to school under an umbrella. It was my favorite one, a pink background with violet anchors dotted all over it. It covered me perfectly, not allowing one single rain drop to land on my body or my bag. Oh how I love this umbrella.

By the time I got to school, I was already a little late for Homebase. I slipped in carefully, trying not to be noticed. But of course, someone just had to yell out; "Erza's laaate!"

I hate those people.

Now I had one more challenge before I could head home. Physical Education, running the track in the rain. One of my most hated activities in the whole entire world. I changed into my P.E uniform which was a navy shirt with the words Physical Education FTM (Fairy Tail Magnolia) on it and navy shorts which were loose and felt silky.

I jogged outside the changing room and looked around for a familiar blondie.

"Erzaa!" A heavy weight pounced on me.

I looked behind, recognizing the familiar voice, Rei.

I turned around and laughed, ruffling his dark hair, I had to stand on my tip-toes, everyone has gotten taller, even Gray, who used to be my height.

As our teacher blew the whistle, I parted ways with Rei, we were in different classes even though our period for P.E was the same, which was frustrating. I greeted Lucy with a quick smile and sat down on the wooden floor, listening to Mr. Tsurushima's daily speech.

I could feel an icy stare in my back, my spine got that weird tingling feeling. I knew who it was, I didn't want to look back, because then, I'd be wrapped away into my tragic history with that relationship. Finally, our class got up and headed outside into the rain. It wasn't raining as hard as it was in the morning, but the rain was still big and fast. Rain drops seemed to pierce my skin, hitting me with such speed my arms throbbed. But I didn't care as much as other people did. When Mr. Tsurushima blew the whistle, our class jogged around the track five times, I was in the lead, next to Jet, Gajeel, Gray, and Ultear.

Ultear and I were neck-to-neck, neither of us wanted to fall behind.

I was soaking wet by the time we headed back to the gym, wet from sweat or the rain, I wasn't so sure. But it was time for my favorite unit, basketball.

After basketball, I changed into my clothes, my hair nearly dry. I headed back to homebase in a rush, grabbing my bag from my locker and basically sprinting down the hallway before I was tardy.

* * *

I was in my room, reading a book named Divergent. Levy the book worm had told me to read it, so I guess it must be pretty good. I was lying on my bed, smiling as I read the part about Tobias and Tris. It was complicated, but at least it worked out for them.

A prod on my shoulder took me by surprise. I dropped my book and jumped up, ready to karate-chop my invader. But it just turned out to be Gray.

"Your turn to cook dinner." He informed me, not quite noticing the ruckus I had just caused.

Gray yawned and left my room, as if nothing happened.

I can't believe him! He makes everything seem so simple, yet no one knows how much he thinks too much.

I wish I could be like that. I wish I could make every big deal seem small.

It's like he doesn't need to care about anything, it's like his life is normal.

* * *

After dinner, I finish homework, take a shower, read, and sleep. Like it's normal.

Except it's not. It's not normal because Amaya and Derek are out on a business trip to Edolas, and won't be back until a week later.

And. I was getting nightmares again. Nightmares that everyone will leave me. And that I'll be left in a bloody dark world.

* * *

The next day was like any other, classes, school, Gray's cooking.

But an unexpected event occurred.

**[A/N: PLAY THE SONG (CATCH ME BY DEMI LOVATO) RIGHT NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.]**

My tears finally fell, and it was in the middle of dinner, too.

When no one else was around, no one, but Gray.

I guess it was okay, I didn't mind Gray seeing, but these tears were caused because of him.

I dropped my fork, it fell onto the oak table with a clatter. I covered my flushed, wet, face.

Gray gawked at me, his fork fell too, with a metallic sound.

I was sobbing, because I felt rejected, because I didn't feel normal, _because I still love Gray. _

He walked over slowly, and hugged me, his minty smell enveloping me.

_I don't understand. I thought you didn't like me._ I guess he does everything out of pity, because he doesn't care about me.

But I had the desire to hug him back. I felt like I needed to kiss him.

I grabbed his collar and slammed my lips against his with hunger, tears still splattering down my cheeks. _I don't believe it._

Gray kissed me back, his lips tasted like cinnamon and salt.

I wanted to pull away before he hurt me even more than he had two years ago, but I just couldn't. My grip on his shirt was loosening, I tasted the salt from my tears on my lips, and his, but I didn't care.

All I wanted was to pull away. But I can't. I was aching for him, and now I had him, why can't this just be forever?

_Because Rei._

* * *

**Short chapter but dramatically awesome.**

**I just thought Catch Me fits, riiight.**

**Now, REVIEW, FOLLOW, READ, ALEERT AND RECOMMEND TO OTHERSS ~ **

**Thanks :3 Fluff ouo fluff is good i think.**


	9. Chapter 9: Mislead Hope

**I love reading all your reactions!**

**Guest: I will do what you suggested, but I'm gonna add another OC in xP**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Complicated Hope**

I lay in bed, my mind racing at a crazy fast speed. I flash-blacked into my memories.

* * *

_I grabbed Gray's collar, and my face collided with his, pressing our lips __together. My face was burning, but his feeling pleasured me, feeling his cold and soft lips against my feverish ones. It felt oddly good, it pleasured me, but it also made me feel guilty. Because I still had Rei._

_After a long period of kissing, I broke away from him first, because I felt bad, like guilty bad._

_I breathed heavily at first, and slowly walked away from him, backing away and abandoning my dinner, my cheeks were still damp when I ran up the stairs to my room._

* * *

It's been a few hours now, my mind is still whirling around, the room is spinning, I can't stand, but my stomach is growling. I'll just have to face my fears and attempt to walk downstairs for my beloved food.

I tip-toed down the stairs, and cringed when the wood creaked, I bet Gray could hear me.

I managed to not make any more sounds and reached the kitchen, I knew Gray would've cooked a pot of coffee, I grinned to myself, loving how he knew me so well, but then I remembered, he didn't like me, and I shouldn't like him.

My smile left my face as quick as it had gotten there, I solemnly poured myself a mug of coffee after creaking open some kitchen cabinets and grabbing my favorite mug.

I held the steaming drink in my hands and leaned on the kitchen counter as I took long swigs of the coffee. I had some time to think, didn't I?

I should move out by now, Amaya and Derek were getting old, I didn't want to cause any more trouble for the Fullbuster Family.

Our school had dorms, maybe I should move there, but I heard their rent fees were high, barely anyone lived there.

I didn't want to move, but I didn't want to cause trouble either.

* * *

The next day, I was informed some horrible news.

_"I'm moving, to Crocus." _Rei said to me in homebase.

I freaked out. _Why is everyone leaving me. _

It's just like that goddamn nightmare I had.

"_WHAT." _I exploded right there, during the middle of homebase. At least Mr. Kirk wasn't talking, we were having "free time".

I felt a few heads turn towards me, I was upset, I didn't care.

Rei looked at me, his eyes seemed hurt.

"I'm so sorry." I just wanted to explode, saying sorry wouldn't cut it. But I knew it wasn't his fault, it was his family's fault.

_What am I doing, blaming everyone. I should be blaming myself._

This is just too frustrating for me.

* * *

In a week, that's when Rei was leaving, and that's when it would be Christmas. Oh god, I'm spending my favorite holiday without him?

On the next day, I decided that we'd have the best Christmas Eve, ever. I knew Gray would be out with Amaya and Derek, I had asked for their permission to stay home. They understood, thankfully, that I wanted to spend this day with Rei, it was our last day together..

I sighed and pushed the thought out of my mind and smiled to myself, I was making some dinner while I waited for Rei.

After cooking up some creamy macaroni and cheese, she left the house in silence.

* * *

**[ A / N: I have something planned so I'm not going to share what happened on the date k ]  
**  
I came home with a bruise on my leg and a cut on my cheek, with the attitude of "don't ask me why".

But still, Gray asked me, I don't even know what I replied, just that I pushed him aside. My vision was failing me, I collapsed on the couch, and everything went black.

* * *

Soon, I was woken up, by a pair of warm but rough hands, my eyes were blurry from sleep, all I could see was a flop of navy blue hair. Wait, was that _Gray?!_  
I sat up, startled, and was immediately faced by a pair of deep blue eyes. With a silent gasp, a rosy hue replaced my natural skin color, I backed away immediately, my heart pounding inside my chest.

"Ohayou~" Gray greeted me, he acted oddly normal, considering that I had come home bruised.

"M-Morning." I mumbled quietly and got up from the couch and ran my fingers through my scarlet hair. As I slowly padded up the stairs, I sighed deeply, my leg still stung from the bruise, as soon as I got to my beloved room, I fell onto my bed, and continued to sleep.

In a few hours, I woke up, light shining in through the curtains. It felt like I had only been asleep for a few seconds, but when I checked the time, I noticed it was already 4 pm. This was the day Rei left, wasn't it?! I missed his flight, at 2pm, _I fail at being a good girlfriend._

I was so angry at myself, I stomped out my room, even though it was Christmas, I wasn't in the mood for happy presents time.

When I trudged into the living room, I was glomped by two of my best friends, Lucy and Natsu.  
"What are you two doing here?" I asked them, after they had calmed down.  
"Visiting you~" Lucy replied, a grin on her face.

"Merry Christmas!" Natsu suddenly burst out, his eyes were flitting towards Gray, who was sitting at the dining table in a gloomy mood.

Gray finally perked up, realizing that it was a holiday. "Mom made a gingerbread house, I'll bring it out." He announced as he got up and walked into the kitchen.

Natsu leaned towards me and whispered into my ear, "Erza, did something happen between you and Gray?"

I could feel the usual tingling feeling, reminding me that something did indeed happen, "N-no!" I stammered, already feeling blushy.

"Hm.." Natsu considered my answer, walked away, and settled on the couch next to Lucy.

_This was not the Christmas I had hoped for._

Gray came back into the living room with Amaya's gingerbread house. It looked so delicious, but I wasn't in the mood to eat. After nibbling on a gumdrop, I leaned back onto the couch, my appetite was ruined.

* * *

**Awkward ending. I didn't know how to end ahaha c:  
sorry for late update, I'm kinda on a hiatus and uncreative right now, sorry!**


	10. Chapter 10: Forgiven Hope

Helloo ~ It's been a while but school started and I'm so tired. I get to my class 10 minutes late each day because I stay up late for anime.

I work on chapters every few hours while doing homework but it's just not enough!

Sorry D:

* * *

**Chapter 10:**

It's been a month since Rei had left. It almost seemed like he never existed in the first place. But the moment he arrived at his destination, he texted me, saying that he was alright, and that Levy was too. It all seemed like a dream, like it wasn't reality that Rei had been here. I missed him, I really did, but it felt like it didn't matter that he was gone.

I laid on my bed, my arms sprawled on my sides, I do this a lot, to just do nothing but think. I've thought of dyeing my precious scarlet hair, but it was too important to me. Maybe I could cut my hair short? I wasn't so certain about this, my hair was my treasure, it was all I had left of my mom, she used to have crimson-colored hair too. It was silk-soft and I loved to stuff my face between the strands of hair she had, it had made me feel safe.

* * *

It's almost been 10 years since I've come to live with the Fullbusters, I was four back then. It's quite surprising how everything changed. In the new school trimester, there are a lot of new transfer students. One has particularly caught my attention. I don't know him quite well yet, but since eighth grade started, Rei had always been in all my classes, and after he left, this guy came along. His name is Ayato. He's rather interesting, he's also become friends with Gray and his gang, I still don't know what I think of Ayato. So far, my impression of him is "good student".

At home, Amaya and Derek seem to be coming home less than usual, which leaves Gray and I to cook dinner for ourselves. Usually Gray avoids me, making dinner and then rushing upstairs with food, leaving me to eat by myself. I wish he wouldn't do that, I wish he could just be his usual self and laugh with me like we used to.

Natsu still talks to me, and so does Lucy. They're still happily together. Natsu tells me that Gray doesn't have eyes for anyone but me, I doubt it. Gray gets over crushes easily, especially if they're only for a short time period. I was probably just that crimson-haired girl who lives in the house, who he once kissed. He probably didn't care.

* * *

**Gray's POV:**

Erza was growing farther away from me. I frequently try to talk, it seems like all my attempts have fails. Maybe I should just stop. She probably finds me annoying. Mom and Dad have been away more, I don't know what Erza thinks when we're alone, so I'd rather not face her. Instead, I just run away to my room whenever we're supposed to be alone. It just doesn't make me comfortable anymore. I don't know Erza's true feelings, and she doesn't know mine, perfect.

* * *

/Time Skip: 10th Grade/

With a yawn, I woke to the noise of my alarm clock beeping. Groaning, I slammed my fist down on the button of the clock. It was winter, yet I wasn't feeling cold at all, how odd. By now, Erza would be shivering, wouldn't she? That thought brought a smile to my face, but it disappeared as quick as it surfaced. I shouldn't think about her, she's not here anymore.

Oh yeah, that's right, Erza had gotten a part-time job and rented her own apartment. Apparently she had gotten a part-time job and saved up some money for a fairly-spacey apartment. Now, she was just a faded smell of strawberries and red velvet cake. Mom still invited Erza over once every month, so I got to see her, but just not as much. One more thing, Erza had a boyfriend now.

The moment I got out of bed, I did all my business and immediately stuffed a piece of toast into my mouth and hopped on to my bike and raced towards the school. I didn't want to get to school early, I just wanted to see if I could find Erza, alone.

* * *

**Erza's POV:**

I was actually enjoying this feeling of solitary. Except, I wasn't completely alone. I had Ayato. He made me feel important, unlike other people. Rei was just the smell of cinnamon and fresh books, a wafting scent in my memories. I can't even conjure up his face anymore. Gray was just the smell of ice and mint, someone I used to love.

I got out of bed, made myself an omelette and packed my bento for school. I quickly jogged to school, my hair flying around me in the wind. I no longer used the bike Amaya had gifted to me, I wanted to part with anything that reminded me of them. As I arrived at the school gates, I could see the familiar mop of dirty blonde hair, and as I got even closer, I could see those mesmerizing emerald hues. Lucy had once asked me why I liked him so much, clearly, he was very different from Gray. I didn't want to explain then, I wasn't even quite sure why back then, but after we got together, I realized I only liked Ayato _because _he was nothing like Gray.

I greeted Ayato with a smile, he returned the smile. I loved that about him, he was never expressionless. As students started pouring in, I realized we were no longer going to be alone, so I grabbed his warm hand and pulled him into the school, trying to start a conversation at the same time. I could feel his eyes looking at me, that burning sensation. I was tempted to turn around, just to see if he was really watching. But thought against it, instead I hugged Ayato's arm, which was completely unlike me, and kept walking.

* * *

**Gray's POV:**

I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I thought I was supposed to be the one there, walking with her, in school. I cringed, I didn't deserve to think like this, I like her, she like_d_ me. I should've realized earlier, I had a chance before, now, I was just.. that dude that she used to live with.

* * *

Yay finally updated. Anyways, check out my new story;

When You're Gone in the SNK category.

byebye ~


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